Why Women Do One Thing, Then Say Another

Ok, I’ve talked about this plenty of times with several different groups of people. White, black, Christian, unbeliever, man and woman. I’ve heard all the defenses of all sides and heard how wrong I am and how right I am. In other words, I’ve had an exhaustive exposure to the issue of how men supposedly mistreat women. That exposure has pointed out what was obvious to me before hand, and how the real problem is not even being discussed. The final straw was a video I watched of a woman filming herself as she walked down the street past several vendors. It was a pathetic attempt to try and prove how men sexually harass women and as if her footage were some sort of accurate representation of the reality. Let me start with a little background.

Most women want to be able to put on a pair of jeans, with a shirt that will keep them cool, and not think twice about it when they go out. Women who live in America are surrounded by a culture that approves of other naked women in movies, pornography, sexual music lyrics, etc. America is a sexually immoral culture, and somehow women are surprised when a man “hollers” at her in public. More than likely the women that complain about this “harassment”, watch and enjoy movies full of naked women, sexual jokes, people sleeping around, etc. It’s funny that those women want to, without criticism, be able to approach men sexually, but then won’t give the same right and opportunity for men to do so.

First, the issue is not harassment, it’s domination. These women like feminists who fight for their upper hand in the sex game with men. It’s a wicked desire that women have to show dominance over the man, to take a strike at him by means of depriving him of his sexual effectiveness, to make him feel like he is wrong to treat her the way she appears and acts. It’s an entitlement issue on the part of women, and it’s a subconscious attempt to give women special rights and privileges. For worldly men, it’s a fantasy to have a woman approach him in public, sexually teasing him, and fascinating enough it’s the same for worldly women. Women have just as perverted a mind that worldly men do, the difference is that men can take rejection, and women can’t. Men aren’t so selfish to say, “How dare you attempt to get with me, even though I dress like I’m on the market”. If it were a man she desired that approached and hollered at the woman in the video, it would be a very different story. But, if it’s a man she isn’t interested in, how dare you even try! It’s a hypocritical, emotional, selfish issue that women have and it should NOT be taken seriously. If anything, we should seek to minister to worldly men and women with the good news of Christ, laying out Christianity in it’s fullness, instead of expecting sinners to not act like sinners, which is what these women tend to expect.

Second, I remember Dave Chappelle make a joke about women reacting to how men treat them when they dress in scandalous ways. (Caution for language and crude humor)

Ok, so you didn’t like the video, but there’s a good point to be made. My point is that someone like Dave Chappelle (and his audience) who is of the world, waging war against God, not in line with Christian ethics, can see the obvious problem; that women dress like whores and shouldn’t expect to not be misread or hit on by men. They do, and to call that rude, offensive, or sexist is to ignore an obvious fact.

Third, what is a whore? A promiscuous woman, or a prostitute. How do they dress? In a way that will make the sale. Whores dress in sexually enticing ways, and any man, especially Christians, will admit that tight pants, short shorts, and very low cut shirts are sexually provoking. Most Christian men are coming out of the American culture that is filled with pornography, sexual advertising, and entertainment and are doing quite well with their fight against sexual lust. No, it’s not that men are perverts, it’s that men are naturally sinners and have grown up in a sexual culture. Men who do not honor God’s law will follow their natural lusts, in this example a desire for a woman’s body, outside of the realm that God has set for man to do that. It’s a good thing to lust have a woman, if that woman is your wife. See the difference? Mankind, in turning away from God, has misapplied the godly desire given to him.

Even if the woman could blame the man for just being a pervert, why would that be wrong given the culture we live in and the media we expose ourselves to? Why is it that women listen to music about twerking, having casual sex, and teasing men with their bodies, get upset that a man complimented her sexually? There are thousands of videos of little teenage girls dancing dirty, posting it on the Internet for everyone to see, so what do you expect men to think and say? If you’re so offended that men say something about your body, while your twerking, wearing skin tight pants, and flash cleavage, and posting pictures and videos of all that, then maybe you should accept that you are the reason you’re treated that way. You’d think if these nagging women were so principled, then maybe they’d show themselves a little respect by not wearing another layer of skin as pants and panties and a bra to the beach.

Fourth, and this one is important…women also look at men just as sexually and perversely as men do to women.

We all know it, and women deny it, but women (and keep in mind I mean those who have not conformed to Christ) objectify men in staggering ways that seem erotic and borderline whorish. Women filter through men for the largest member, firm, toned muscles, or whatever the flavor of the month is for her. Women go through men just as much as men go through women. How do I know? Because it takes a woman for a guy to get with someone. It’s not homosexuality we’re talking about, it’s heterosexuality. It takes both a man and woman to get laid. The man may have been with more women, but the number of the women he’s been with is still there. And no, women, it’s not that you’ve been had and that the guy you once loved had sex with you and broke up with you, breaking your heart. When you put out you took that chance of being hurt, and if you didn’t plan on marrying the guy, then you knew you’d break up anyways, it just wasn’t the moment you wanted to break up. So, it all comes back to the woman being really selfish.

“He broke up with me after we had sex. He used me!”

“I’m sorry that happened to you. Did you plan on marrying him?”

“No.”

“Oh, so you would have eventually broke up anyways?”

“Yea, but I didn’t want it to be now!”

Well, then she’s just selfish. It wasn’t when she wanted it, so she’s gonna turn it into how women are mistreated and how men are slobs. It makes absolutely, zero sense. None. If you weren’t planning on getting married then you have no reason to complain about breaking up, because it was gonna happen anyways. And so what if he broke it off right after you had sex, it was still gonna happen. What basis do you have to say that men are wrong for doing that? There’s a similar comparison when it comes to men. Women will stay with a man for awhile, get close to him and establish a relationship, when in the background they’re just staying with him because they don’t want to be alone, or they’re riding this one out until they find a better one, because they want the romance.

I say all that to show how women treat men in the same manner, but in a different expression. So, stop whining about how awful the world is when you contributing to it’s wickedness. Stop crying about how men holler at you, when you are hollering at other men. Stop complaining about how men are slobs because they sleep with you and break it off, when you sleep with a guy for months, stay with him because it’s romantic and you don’t wanna be alone, and then when you get the courage you break it off with him. You just wasted months of his life because your selfish needs. You need to find a man, a Christian man, that doesn’t just go to church on Sunday, rather honors God’s Word, revealed in the Bible, wants to get married for life, wants kids, and wants to build the kingdom with you. Stop searching for a fake, empty, Hollywood romance, because it always leads to disaster. God did not design those ways to work. God designed a man to be happy with a woman in marriage. They would live their life together, have kids, and never get divorced. They would seek His help in the hard times, and would get through it because they love each other. They’d never give up. That’s hard to find nowadays because of people like you.

That’s what I’d say to a woman protesting about how awful men threat them. It’s a simple solution and an obvious problem to point out.

And, this isn’t just a problem in the world, but also in the church. I attended a church for quite sometime filled with teenagers and high schools grads who dressed just like the world did. I don’t mean that they wore jeans, or that they wore a shirt that was a little low cut, I mean that their clothing frames their body, not their face. They wear clothes to get attention, and it’s what everyone else wears so why not? It’s that mindset that is completely idiotic. Just because everyone else dresses like a slut doesn’t mean you should or should want to. Christians especially should dress modestly because you don’t know who you’re causing to stumble. Yes, everyone has their own responsibility to fight their own battles, but if you’re causing the weaker brother to stumble, especially when God clearly commands modesty, then there’s not much of an excuse that you have to blame anyone else. Christian men are being reformed out of a sexual culture that is intense and scarring. Christian men everywhere just want the thoughts and temptations to be gone, but it won’t because it’s on TV, the Internet, advertising, it’s everywhere, and the last place they need to see it is within the community of Christ. The church should be their refuge where they can not worry or be tempted to look. It should be a place of reformation, of purity, and of fellowship. It’s a dynamic solution to a complex problem, but we have to start addressing the problem somewhere.

Women, men treat you like a hoe because you probably look like a hoe. Look, even unbelievers can have restraints about what they say, and I think the video above was a false depiction of reality. Notice we see no backside to the woman walking. A woman with big hips, probably a big backside, wearing tight pants, walking down a street past grown black men, is asking to be hollered at. It’s a part of the sexually immoral culture; it’s common practice in that culture. I bet if she were wearing a modest dress or skirt, pants that weren’t that tight, any clothes that didn’t shape her body, there would be a very different reaction. And, who knows, it may just be that street. I’ve been in downtown Athens, Georgia, party capital of SEC campuses, on many Fridays nights, and I hear men and women hollering at each other, all sorts of sexual things. As disgusting as it is, it’s a common thing and no one gets upset. Why? Because they knew what their attire would encourage. They weren’t that stupid, and they were honest with themselves enough to accept that the way they dressed was the reason for it all.

So, it’s not all men, and it’s not just men. It’s unbelievers in general, it’s the American culture. If you have such a problem with it, dress different, stop approving of music that encourages sexual immorality, and stop treating others the way you wouldn’t like to be treated. Just because no one else knows your thoughts doesn’t mean that God doesn’t or that you’ll escape the punishment of your actions.

“For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.” Proverbs 6:23-29